It Aint Easy

See the professionalism?

It ain't easy.
Today, I totally wanted to talk about how stupid that dumb 98 Rock DJ is, the one who tattled on me for saying bad stuff about Tesla. I wanted to yell at him and talk about how much cooler I am which is obvious because I have a goatie and a leather bomber jacket.
But, I am a professional. Look up the word and you'll see a picture of yours truly. I can't just throw the schedule to the wind. I had to hang on and do the other stories we scheduled. I had to talk about how I don't shit at work and about what you should do if an emergency comes up and you HAVE to shit at work. Don't think that jerk wasn't in the back of my mind the whole time but you have to take a break sometimes and give the people the content that they tune in for. People want to hear about the shitting and the fat girl I found on the internet and my funny voices.
That is what professionalism sounds like folks. You're welcome. And fuck that 98Rock guy. I'm gonna poop at his work and he can smell it.

WINNING

Your hit making days are done dudes

Why mess with me? I always win! Don't mess with the bull, you'll catch the horn.

• Hause Frau messed with me. Guess who is still a house wife? Yeah, not me. WINNING
• Douche Bag comedian from Galt messed with me and DIDN'T open for Joan Rivers. Last I heard he did a gig in Portland. Portland! That's like Galt with hipster beards. WINNING
• Tesla is messing with me now. Well, you can guess we won't be using their songs for our lead ins! HA! WINNING
• Opie and Anthony messed with me and... well we got taken off the air for a bit... BUT... WE MADE UP. They're really nice guys. WINNING

Tesla Kicks Who Out of The Park?

Thumbs down to the rumor mill

Rumor Mill prepare to be shut down. Tesla kicked ME out of the park. NO! I CHOSE to leave the park. It was my CHOICE! Remember when I CHOSE to leave the Don and Mike show and give up a lucrative career in radio? Yeah, it was like that. The park was cool, the grass was green, I had my good time but then the pressure got to me. It got to be a bit much. I felt like I was cracking up. So, I left the park.

Why would I come to a town, start fights with everyone who was already here and make everyone hate me? Come on now. That would be stupid. That sounds like crazy behavior and I am of course totally sane (except during those times when I feel like I'm cracking up.)

My Choice

Just a quick note to make sure you all know that I left my Nationally Syndicated Radio Show The Don and Mike Show by choice. It was my decision. Okay, just making sure we're clear on that. Carry on.

Sick...

I'm sick today so we'll have to skip the schedule and play a best of but don't worry I have an awesome clip of me slobbering all over Tom Green while annoying the shit out of him by not being aware of anything he's done in the last ten years even as I claim to be his biggest fan. It's great. You'll love it. Excuse me... sorry... just a minute...
Had to puke. Sorry. Damn, would've loved to have gotten that recorded for the show. We'll have to replace the Sheen soundbites eventually, I mean, not anytime soon, but eventually.
Anyway, Tom Green, yeah. We do talk about his ball cancer. God I love ball cancer. It lets me talk about cancer, which I love, shows my human side, but it also lets me talk about balls. Ball cancer is radio gold.

On Today's Don Geronimo Show

You can see, I was as hot in the
eighties as I am today folks.

Oh folks, I am so excited. We have a full show today. 

I will be taking your calls and calling you idiots (why do so many idiots call me?) and of course I'll be doing funny voices and saying "Balls on chin" throughout but here's the official schedule. 

I hope we get to everything.


12noon - 12:45: Self congratulating with overdone laugh track by studio cronies
12:45 - 1:15: Slobber over most recent guest from Good Day Sacramento (They don't suck anymore. Now I like them. By the way, watch me on Good Day Sacramento, mornings)
1:15 - 1:30: Very sincere and heartfelt talk about cancer and/or orphaned doggies
1:30 - 3:30: Talk to wife about decorating choices and what's for dinner tonight
3:30 - 4:00: Fart noises, "Winning" and playing funny youtube videos

How I Ended Up on AM Radio in Sacramento

After a much needed SELF IMPOSED walk away from big time radio, even as I healed old wounds and started a new life with a better outlook in general, I found something lacking.
Being on the radio.
Now, I know that it was MY DECISION to walk away in 2008, and I needed to. I was about to crack up! I mean, you don't know how tough it is. I'd trade places with one of you guys digging ditches or serving in the military overseas in a heartbeat but this is what God gave me the gift to do. My ability to fart in a mic just doesn't help me outside of the radio studio (well, sometimes it gets me my own row on the airplane.) But once I got away from radio, WHICH I DID VOLUNTARILY, even as I was getting my shite together, I was still totally addicted to being on the air. I'd done it full time, every day (vacations not counted!) for over 34 years before leaving VOLUNTARILY. Doing a radio show has been a part of my everyday life since I was 14, when I got my first full time gig while in high school.
And although being on the radio everyday had become more of a burden that a joy after Freda died, I still missed it the day I walked away VOLUNTARILY.
Which is why I took those unusual jobs in Ocean City, Md radio. Not because I was "Washed out" or a "Has been".  Rembember I DECIDED TO LEAVE. IT WAS MY CHOICE. And those crappy, demeaning, embarrassing jobs were the only way, contractually I could work for two years. And my non compete agreement also stated no internet streaming, so that sucked too.
Yet I wanted to be involved in the fraternity of radio as soon as I drove out of the Don & Mike studio parking lot VOLUNTARILY BY MY OWN CHOICE.
And as I got my life together and things really started to gel, I was longing for only one thing in my life. I have a fantastic wife, a great family and lots of people who love and care about me
I had worked hard since day one, and was blessed with some pretty good salary, back in the day. I saved about all of it, and could afford to take two years off. So I had no worries. My life was on track, I didn't have to worry about money during a recession when I wasn't working VOLUNTARILY, and I was happy again. Really happy. Except for one thing.

My bitch, Radio. I saw the industry change during the two years of my VOLUNTARY hiatus. I saw lots of talented folks across the country getting fired simply because they made too much money, or it was easier to automate and voice track audio than to pay actual on air personalities and of course the voice track machine doesn't "crack up".
I was on the sidelines, dying a little bit each day VOLUNTARILY. I thought for a brief time that my entry back into radio would be to do mornings on an oldies station, or a sports talk daytime show or mornings on a classic rock station.

Don't worry, I had to look it up too

Then CBS Radio and KHTK/Sacramento came along. Talk radio, like it used to be. (At least from 12noon-4pm!) And I no longer wake up feeling like something is missing in my life.

I'm grateful for a great gig, and to have devoted listeners like you.Sure it's on an AM station in a shit market, but as long as I can say Balls On Chin, and play youtube videos, and fart in the microphone I'm there.
I know what life is like on the other side of the rabbit hole.
Sucks to be looking in at a party when you VOLUNTARILY can't get in.


Now I'm sounding like flippin' Tony Roberts. That's just wrong. I'm happy, not sappy. I'm bleachy, not preachy. I have a soul, I can be an asshole. Mostly that last part.

Janet is hotter than these girls.
I VOLUNTARILY don't have
sex with girls like this

That feels just about right.

I get to do a radio show again, and I can pretty much do whatever I want on air, farting, fighting with people who make lame youtube videos, or fat girls with website, hanging up on you stupid fucking morons who listen to me, JESUS H. CHRIST can I get one NON-PAID call from someone who isn't borderline retarded? Life is good for me again. I hope that translates through on the radio.

I'm quite popular in many
Sacramento neighborhoods

And remember, I left and returned VOLUNTARILY! I like being on AM and hated being on a nationally syndicated show where I could fight with people you'd actually heard of!